Where my heart lies: Relena
by neesah
Summary: An inside look on Relena's feelings for Heero. But a question hangs in the air, is it really meant to be?


Where my heart lies: Relena   
  
**Disclaimer: ** I just borrowed the characters from Gundam Wing. I dont own anything here except maybe the plot.   
  
**A. N. ** Both "Where my heart lies" stories are standalone pieces. You dont have to read the other to understand this one. But if you want to grasp the whole picture and you're curious enough to know what's going on inside Heero and Relena's heads, then go ahead and read both. If you ask me, I'll like it better if you read both :). For comments, suggestions, flames or reviews, you can email me at raizenheero@aol.com  
  
  


**Where my heart lies: Relena**   
by Neesah 

  
  
  


Relena looked up the sky and saw the myriad of stars shining brightly at her. _Where is he?_ she wondered for the umpteenth time. She shriveled in the cold night air and adjusted the matching shawl of her midnight blue gown. It was a chilly night to be out in the garden, not to mention dangerous too. Being a Princess of the Sanc Kingdom and the ESUN's Vice Foreign Minister attracted more assassins than covering yourself with honey just to be attacked by a swarm of bees. But despite of these reasons, she didn't go back inside the Palace. 

She walked further until she couldn't hear the voices and the music coming from inside the Palace. She was supposed to be inside, laughing, mingling, dancing and celebrating with everyone. It was her 21st birthday after all. But she was tired of laughing, mingling, dancing and celebrating. She had done nothing but these things since she was 16, aside from tons of paperwork, speeches, consultations, conferences and visits to places here on Earth and on the Colonies that consumed her life for the past 5 years. She needed a break. She needed to be alone with her thoughts. She needed some fresh air. So she slipped away from her brother, her sister-in-law, her friends --- Duo, Hilde, Trowa, Catherine, Quatre, Dorothy, Wufei, Sally and Lady Une, her bodyguards and her guests to take a much needed walk in the garden.

_When did my life start to head on this direction?_ she silently asked herself._ Oh yeah. When I first met HIM._

HIM. The boy who seemed to have fallen from the sky. She found him on the beach one day, lying face down, unconscious. Her life had never been the same since then.

She once led an ordinary, routine life. Affluent, but definitely boring. But when she met him, she was immediately swept up in a dizzying world of war, politics and revolution. And in the center of it all were two teenagers - HIM and HER. At the end, he had won peace for her then disappeared.

She hadn't seen him until a year later when a new threat to peace arose. He'd won peace for her again but this time he had fallen into her arms, vowing not to kill anymore. It was the truly the end of war. And the beginning of peace. Then he disappeared again.

He had that annoying habit of disappearing. She had wanted him to stay. But she wouldn't force him to. She understood that he still had some things to come into terms with. He'll be back when he's ready. If it was time.

_What if he'll never be ready? What if the right time won't come? What if it really wasn't meant to be?_ She never really was sure how he felt for her. She knew he cared, but how much? As much as she cared for him?

Many people thought (and still think) that what she felt for him was just a silly schoolgirl crush. That she was only looking for an escape from her pristine life and this mysterious, out-of-the-ordinary, handsome boy provided her with that adventure. But she knew the truth, and the truth was very far from these speculations. She loved him. Period. She didn't need eloquent words to describe how she felt nor reasons to justify it and make everyone believe her. She simply loved him. He was the purest being she had ever met, the strongest, the bravest, the most noble. He had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, a not so ordinary shade of blue --- Prussian, with an intensity that couldn't be matched nor would ever diminish. Those eyes, which always made anyone who looks at them shiver with fear, always made her warm and safe. He could do the impossible, achieve the improbable. He was the kind of person who always gave her and everyone hope.

_Why isn't he here? He doesn't come when invited to reunions, Christmas Parties, or other gatherings but he always comes to my birthday. He always comes._

For the past 5 years, she never bothered Duo or anyone for information about him. She didn't want to appear as a lovesick puppy or a stalker many thought of her before. She never called him nor visited him. And it was the same with him. The only exception was when she asks Duo to give him her birthday invitation and he comes to the party. She knew that the Gundam pilots kept tabs on each other and the little information she had about him she heard from them. They confirmed that he was well and doing good on his own, studying, having a part-time job and he still didn't have any girlfriend/s. _Good for him,_ Relena grinned to herself. But seriously, all that mattered to her was that he was well and that he was happy. At the party, they exchange polite hello's, he gives her a present, have a little chit-chat (which was very little considering who Relena is having chit-chat with), dance for a while, then say goodbye. Another year would pass by before they see each other again.

She never had known what relationship they had. It was not surprising really, considering who they were and what they went through, besides the fact that he was not your typical, average guy. Was it plainly platonic? Or were there undercurrents of romance? Sometimes these undercurrents were clearly tangible, by the way he looked at her, touched her face or smiled at her. The way he held her when they were dancing, the way his eyes locked onto hers, channeling something to her, a promise of some sorts.

Relena sighed. She's 21 now. She would be pestered more about her lovelife or lack thereof. Many people were curious why the Princess didn't have a boyfriend yet, nor at least date from time to time. She was young, beautiful and smart --- a very potent combination. Add to the mix was her position as the most influential woman in the ESUN, that she was a princess, very rich, but kind-hearted and down to earth. A woman like her wouldn't find it difficult to have a date, a boyfriend or a husband. Actually, she had thousands of suitors, none of which had been lucky enough to have Relena glance even once at his direction. These curious people didn't understand her behavior, even misinterpreting her actions as just being picky. But to those few who knew her well, who had been with her since the war, knew the simple reason why she was like this. Her heart already belonged to someone else.

It was not that she was waiting for him, or would wait for him her entire life. She was not a martyr. It was not like she didn't want to date, she wanted to. She just didn't have the time. And if she did find the time, she wanted her date to be someone she liked, whose company she would enjoy genuinely. And she hadn't found one that suited these simple criteria from her present selection of suitors. It was not that she was comparing each of them to him, that she was still living in the past and not moving on. She was moving on, and she was trying to find love. But she already found it and hard as she tried, she couldn't shake it off. It didn't matter if he didn't love her back or if he wouldn't come back to her. She loved him and that's that. She couldn't marry someone she didn't love. And she was not quite sure if she could love someone else as much as she loved him. But she was certain that even if she finds someone else, a part of her will always belong to him.

She then saw a shooting star. She closed her eyes and wished. "If Heero and I were not meant to be, I wish that both of us find happiness with our own true loves. Don't let either of us be alone for the rest of our lives," she whispered. 

She continued walking, humming to herself. She stopped when she reached a pond and stared at the moon's reflection on the water. Silence. Suddenly, she couldn't bear the longing and the silence any longer.

"Heero, where are you?" she said, somewhat desperate. "Tonight is the only time I can see you. You always come to my birthday. Why aren't you here?"

"I'm here, Relena," a deep voice said from behind her.

Startled, Relena whirled around. She saw a tall man clad in a tuxedo, with brown, unruly hair that was tamed a little bit by mousse and Prussian blue eyes glinting in the dark. "Heero. You came."

Heero locked gazes at her. "Of course. As you said, I always come to your birthday. I wouldn't miss it for the whole world."

"Why were you late? No, you don't need to answer that. It's ok. You're here now. That's all that matters."

He gave her a small smile. "Small complications." Then his face became stern. "Why are you out here, Relena? Don't you know that it's dangerous to be here alone, especially at night?"

Relena ignored his tone of voice. She was still too happy to see him. She just shrugged and answered, "I needed some fresh air."

"Won't they miss you inside? It's your party after all."

"I don't think so. Everyone's enjoying themselves. Most of them are drunk. And I've been only out here for 10 minutes so Milliardo and the others wont panic. Yet."

Heero didn't answer. He continued staring at her. She blushed. She then turned her gaze away and looked again at the moon's reflection on the water. She was starting to feel the cold more. She adjusted her shawl and hugged herself for warmth. 

"Cold?"

"A little," she lied. She didn't want him to have that excuse to go back inside. She was still enjoying the scenery. And of course, she wanted more time to be alone with him.

Relena was surprised when she felt strong arms wrapped around her. She smiled. She snuggled closer and leaned her head back to his chest. She felt warm all over. They stayed like this for a moment. Then, Relena got the courage to ask a few questions.

"Heero, How are you?"

"Well."

"So, what's new about you then?"

"I just graduated from college."

"Really? Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"Do you already have work?"

"Yes. That's why I was late. I had a job interview. "

"Congratulations again. You're really doing great for yourself, Heero."

"Thanks to you."

"How did I get anything to do with it?"

"Because of you, we're living in peace. Because of you, I had a chance to start over, to live a decent life. Because of you, I'm still alive."

"You know that I didn't do all that. Don't give me credit for everything. As a matter of fact, you were the one who saved the world, who won peace for us. Twice. The other Gundam pilots and soldiers had their contributions too. And I couldn't recall even one instant when I saved your life. All I did for you was bandage your wounds, call an ambulance, get you in a hospital and catch you before your face hits the floor. You were the one who saved me many times."

Relena felt Heero whirl her around so that she was now facing him. He never removed his hands on her shoulders. He looked down at her tenderly. "What I mean is I survived everything and I am still existing today because of you. Because you believed in me."

"I believe in you, Heero. I always did and I always will."

"I know. I believe in you too." 

She then saw Heero lean down to her. Her eyes widen suddenly but closed them shut as Heero's lips touched hers. It was a sweet, passionate kiss. This was their second kiss. The first one was in an abandoned colony when they were 16 [Blind Target]. Both were sweet, but they were kids then. It's more special now.

When they broke apart, she rested her head on his chest, her hands clasped around his neck. Heero wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him, his chin resting on top of her head. 

"I love you, Relena."

Relena's heart jumped at his words. She looked up at him and smiled. "And I love you, Heero."

She felt his fingers supporting her chin, his intense blue eyes boring into her sky blue ones. She could see humor, apprehension and love shining through his eyes. "So if **I** love **you** and **you** love **me**, " he started saying, huskily, "wouldn't it be just right if I ask you to be my wife?"

Relena gasped. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that he would ask her to be his wife! _Is this really happening? I'm not just dreaming, am I? Please don't be a dream. Please be real. Please be real. But if it's a dream, O Lord, please don't let me wake up._

The expression in his eyes assured her that this was all real and not just a dream her mind conjured up as a birthday gift. She could see it clearly, love was shining from its very core. She had never seen his eyes this intense and alive with emotions before. Her own eyes started to water.

"Yes," she managed to say as she tried to push back the tears. Then more strongly, "Yes, Heero. I'll be honored to be your wife. I wouldn't wish for anything else."

Heero smiled. A bright, loving smile. He leaned over and captured her lips again with his. He pulled away and took a velvet box out of his trouser pocket. He opened it. Relena couldn't contain her tears anymore. Tears of joy fell unbidden on her face while Heero slipped the 5-carat diamond engagement ring on her finger, never breaking eye contact. He then kissed her eyes, her face, gently trying to brush her tears away. 

"Are you ready to share the good news to everybody?" Heero asked as he wiped the last trace of tears on her face.

"Yeah. I've never been more ready in my whole life," she said, smiling sweetly at him. 

Heero offered his arm and Relena took it.

"Well then, let's go back inside. I want to see the reaction on their faces. Especially Zechs' and Duo's. This will be a treat."

Relena giggled. She couldn't wait to see their faces either. She was sure everyone would be happy for them. But they would be shocked first. Their friends knew that there was an undeniable chemistry between the two and they were expecting Heero to confess his love for her or just plain ask her on a date one of these days, but marriage? It was all very sudden. And her brother? Let's just say that he'll make a scene. Not because he disliked Heero, on the contrary, Milliardo liked him (though he wouldn't admit it loudly). And she knew that if Milliardo had to make a choice who her husband's going to be, he would choose Heero because he could count on him to take care of her. The reason he'll make a scene would be because his little sister was getting married. 

Before entering, Heero kissed her fiancé one last time. "For Goodluck," he said to her.

"I guessed as much. You're definitely going to need it with my brother."

Heero grimaced. "I know. I can handle him. What I can't handle is Duo's teasing. Im going to get it tonight and tomorrow and the next day and the day after that…"

Relena chuckled. "I get it, I get it. He'll tease you for the rest of your life." She then raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to back out?"

"NO!" Heero answered indignantly. Then he smiled and grabbed her hand. "Never. Ready?"

Relena nodded and squeezed his hand. Finally, her heart is where it truly lies --- with Heero. She took a deep a breath then proceeded to face the first of their new lives together. 


End file.
